This is the way Phil played it at the Democratic Convention...... D E I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town. A7 D I believe in God and Senator Dodd and in keeping old Castro down. D E And when it came my time to serve, I knew better dead than red. A7 D But when I got to my ol' draft board, buddy this is what I said:: D "Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen, E And I always carry a purse. A7 D I got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat, and my asthma's getting worse. D E Oh, think of my career, my sweetheart dear, my poor old invalid aunt. A7 Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm going to school, D And I'm working in a defense plant. D I got a dislocated disc, and a racked up back, E I'm allergic to flowers and bugs, A7 And when the bombshell hits I get epileptic fits D And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs. D I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes, E I can hardly reach my knees. A7 D And if the enemy came close to me, I'd probably start to sneeze." D E I hate Chou En Lai and I hope he dies, but one thing you gotta see, A7 D That someone's gotta go over there, and that someone isn't me. D So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em hell, E Yeah, kill me a thousand or so. A7 And if you ever get a war without blood and gore, D Well I'll be the first to go. my friend tabbed it so i wont take credit